Landchark

A wise man once said “I love it when a plan comes together.”, of course this man sat next to a man that constantly said “I pity the fool who [insert witty quip here]“.Why am I talking about the A-Team? I have no idea.
Anyways, this plan seems to be coming together and this mass of scrapwood and sawdust is finally starting to look like a craps table.

I finally got the base of the table and the last long side cut out. I got out my layout and threw it on there just to make sure that it fits inside the table base like it should, and by golly, it fits just right.

At that point, I just couldn’t help myself but to try to assemble this beast and see if these pieces really will fit together.

So I took off the layout and started putting all the pieces together like some big puzzle. There’s obviously going to be some trimming and sanding needed to be done to get everything to fit together all snug, but for a trial run, it seems like it is going to work out fine.

After I got it put together and laid the layout in, I just had to get out the dice and see how it worked.
First roll, established the point of 9, threw 5 more times and covered all the numbers and then sevened out. Kinda reminds me of the last time I played at the Golden Nugget.

Continued in part 5

Tags: , A-team, casino fun, craps, craps table by chadd
2 Comments »

Holy crap, cutting these things out can be tedious.

But, I am getting pretty darn good with this jigsaw. Maybe I will find some sort of quarter round corner 3/4″ plywood cutting contest to enter after this is all done.

Anyways, got a bunch more of these pieces done. 54 to be exact. By my calculation I should only need a total of 60, 15 per corner, so I am pretty close to done.

Then all that will be left to cut out will be one long side, and the main table base that the layout goes on. Then on to the ever so exciting assembly stage. Have to get myself some wood glue.

I still am thinking about how to do the legs/base of this beast. The plans call for the legs to be attatched to the base of the table but I want the legs to come off fairly easily so this thing can be transported if needed. Last suggestion I got was to use a big TV stand. Not a bad idea, since then there will be shelves and doors already built in, it is about the right size, and this table won’t weigh any more than a 36″ tube tv (I hope). Still considering options, but I do like the idea of some sort of shelving/cabinet unit to be used as a base. Would look more solid and provide some storage instead of just wasted space under there.

continue to part 4

Tags: , casino fun, craps table by chadd
2 Comments »

I’m probably the last person to notice this, mostly because I get dropped on my head a lot, but the other night I was watching CSI. You know, “Crime Scene Investigators,” the cornerstone of CBS’s Thursday-night lineup. The one where over-worked lab techs are ex-strippers and look like they just walked off the catwalk or, in some cases, a porn shoot.

Yeah, that’s the one. So I was watching it, CSI, that is, not porn. Somewhere in the middle of the show, there’s always the 2 minute segment where they show the spikey-haired lab technician analyzing a critical shred of evidence. There’s a lot of tension! “Oh my gawd,” the viewer says, “I hope he’s not using anhydrous ammonium chromate, that would make his results unusable!” The drama is only increased by a bumpin’ techno beat. That’s right, kiddies, the nerd who’s shorts you used to light on fire is, as Phil Hartman would say, SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSASSY!!!

Who knew that a centrifuge was hotter than the disco ball? Clearly not I! Separating semen from a pile of dog excrement? The chicks dig it. And the insects! Don’t get me started on the classic erotic symbolism inherent in the monologues about maggot gestation periods…I’ll need a cold shower. How did the traces of magnesium end up on the aardvark lodged in the victim’s nasal cavity? Please tell me now! I can’t wait until after another Cialis ad, maybe a Yoplait ad, but not Cialis!

And the equipment they use! Enough to make a hard-core gamer backwash into his Mountain Dew. There is clearly no shortage of tax dollars in the Las Vegas Police Department. Hell, in Miami, David Caruso sits stands on a catwalk above is subservient medical examiner and watches the autopsy on wall-length high-definition monitors. That is to say when he’s not peering down her remarkable cleavage from up there. Hey, why scrub in and stand in the same room when the taxpayers of Florida can subsidize this crazy “Dr. No” set up.

So to all you single people out there, don’t troll MySpace or Match.com. Just stroll down to your local morgue and find a hot medical examiner or lab tech. You may be in for a surprize. Furthermore, you may prefer to take one of the corpses home instead.

Tags: , anhydrous ammonium chromate, csi, Dumb TV by Mark
1 Comment »

Here is a photo of Chauncy McFartlighter as he works on his craps table.

Tags: , craps, ha ha guy, Man on the Street by Mark
2 Comments »

Let me just start out by saying this: Jigsaws are Fun. Especially Bosch Jigsaws. And until another tool company sends me a jigsaw to sample (hint hint), I’ll continue to say that Bosch Jigsaws are the best. Go ahead, I dare any tool company to send me something to try for free and challenge my claim that Bosch makes the highest quality power tools in the world.

As mentioned in my last post, I’ve got the plans all cut out into full size paper templates.

With that all done, my next step was to buy some plywood. So off to Menard’s I went. Without a doubt, Menard’s is my favorite store ever. The only problem is that I get too many half-baked ideas when there. I hate shopping in general, more of a “get in, get out, get on with your life” type of guy. As far as I know, I think I hold the speed record for Christmas shopping. 43 minutes from locking my door in the mall parking lot to loading the trunk with a metric shit ton of gifts. But, for some reason I can wander the aisles of Menard’s for hours. I just don’t get it. They must pump something into the ventilation that tricks your brain into thinking “you really need new handles for all the kitchen cabinets”. I wonder what kind of street value a drug like that would have.

Anyways, I loaded up 3 sheets of 3/4″ CDX and headed home. The plans call for 4 sheets, but I have a half sheet left at home from a different project and I’m also thinking of changing the plans a bit to not include the planned legs. So that would save me over a half sheet right there. The reason I’m thinking of not including the legs is because the plans call for attaching them in such a way that you would never be able to remove them without taking off the craps felt layout. And that would be bad. Thinking of buying a couple table bases from a local restauraunt supply store, so they would be easy to screw on and off, but I’ll ponder that more later.

Now, I am knee deep in templates that I have to lay out on the plywood and trace. If you look closely, you can see footprint evidence of a tiny creature that for some reason thought it was quite fun to run back and forth on the plywood as I traced out templates. Refer to part 1 for an idea of what I think this mysterious creature may be.

I spent most of the rest of the day tracing and cutting, and although it seemed like I was really just making a lot of scrapwood and a heck of a lot of sawdust, I got all of the major pieces cut out.

When I got to the corner pieces, I made a stunning realization: Tracing and cutting out the same piece over and over can be a tad tedious. By my calculations I’ll have to cut out about 60 of these quarter round pieces to stack up and form the rounded corners of the table.

That’s a lot.

As you can see from the size of the stack in the photo, I have about 7 cut out. That’s a lot yet to go.

This is when I remembered that Family Guy would be starting any minute.

continue to part 3

Tags: , casino fun, craps, craps table by chadd
3 Comments »